Who are you?

By Steve Gordon

I watched one of my favorite movies tonight in “Bridges of Madison County.” I found it searching on TV and even better was it was without commercials and I caught it right from the beginning. After it was over I felt I had to write something because of how this movie makes me feel.

My first wife in our very short marriage (where I was mostly away at sea on the submarine in the Navy) used to call me stone face. My second wife said she didn’t feel loved or appreciated in 23 years before we split up. My VA therapist and I talk about my emotional detachment.

In general I am not openly emotional about anything and I am not a touchy feely person. Walking or sitting and holding hands with my wife or just a hug made me feel uncomfortable. It is like taking things for granted, taking love for granted I guess.

Foreigner has a song “I Want to Know What Love Is” that intrigues me. “I want you to show me,” the lyrics continue. It makes me wonder if I ever knew or know what love is. So how is it I turn into a wet noodle with movies like Bridges, or “Somewhere In Time” and some others where privately watching them the emotions come to the surface?

While taking a shower when not concentrating on getting ready for work I sometimes find myself doing some soul searching and thinking. My therapist once asked if I was dating and I told him I was not. I think I would like to and to have someone intimate in my life, but on the other hand not so much.

To get involved in a relationship means commitment to another person. There are a bunch of factors involved. For starters it takes away the independence I now enjoy to do what I want on my own time table. But I like structure and in those 23 years of marriage I made it work balancing home and family responsibilities with my own personal interests.

I have a friend I go out with to movies and we talk but that’s all there is to it. I think she pretty much likes it this way but we have never talked about it. Bottom line is that this is all it will ever be and that is fine. But in the shower I think about what kind of person I could see myself with and here is the problem. I can’t see myself with anyone other than my second wife and that is never going to happen.

It makes me wonder about the detachment of my emotions and if it actually builds upon itself over time. My therapist has said it is something in the way some people are wired, not necessarily a learned thing and it is something we have to learn to recognize and deal with.

Privately I have cried openly about things in my life and some movies also get an emotional release. I find that I can let go of things easier than many people and it appears to people outwardly it is like they mean nothing.

And at this point I am lost and don’t know where to take this…I guess the question is “Who Am I?” and I guess I don’t have the answer. It is a work in progress.  Do you know who you are?

Blocked

By Steve Gordon

If you read the post about the new ML registration you will remember I mentioned a newspaper article by Laurie Mason Schroeder of the Bucks County Courier Times. It appears open mindedness to hear all sides of issues...ah...well she has seemingly blocked my email address from contacting her. This is what came back when I tried to send her an email tonight.

     "This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification.     

Delivery to the following recipients was aborted after 0 second(s):

  * lmason@phillyburbs.com"

All I was trying to do was send her a copy of an email I sent to friends which read:

Dear Friends,

 

Because of new stricter laws regarding my required ML registration with the PA State Police from my offense, all “internet identifiers (such as email address(es))” now have to be on record. It is ambiguous but I expect when I check in next this will include social media such as my FB identity. As such any communications I have with anyone are potentially not private.

 

While there has not been any behavior on my part to illicit research or investigation nor any communications to cause alarm or would be a problem if they were monitored or researched, this is an invasion of your privacy. If you feel that your email contact with me is a problem and request no further emails from me I understand your wanting to protect your privacy and I will respect that.

 

If you have a problem with this new requirement you can contact the office of the governor of Pennsylvania, Tom Corbett, as well as your local state representatives and senators and voice your opinions on Act 111 of 2011 and Act 9 of 2012.

 

Thank you.

How much is news really?

By Steve Gordon

 

Sometimes I just want to scream and yell at the TV, and not at the Eagles for playing so poorly. It is at main stream media. Can somebody explain to me how reporting the news morphed into sensationalizing it? Why can’t they just report what happened without the drama?

I bet you know what I talking about. In the last few weeks there have been a series of senseless random acts of violence where innocent people were murdered. Most recently the horrific events in Newtown, Connecticut in an elementary school.

Earlier today I shared a post of a statement Morgan Freeman made and I agree with him. Absolutely do not mention the name of the person committing the acts. NEVER EVER!!! We don’t need to know and it seems to only spur on other people to try to go one better. Where does it end?

But it is more than that. These people have innocent families that had nothing to do with what they did and don’t you think they have suffered enough. The media creates an atmosphere of secondary victimization for them.

Further, it doesn’t stop there. After the word is spread on local and national news and sensationalized and dramatized, sometimes mere hours after the occurrence TV specials are hastily aired. Rarely do they provide more or meaningful information as they rehash and repeat what has been said earlier. In the latest one all kinds of wrong information was broadcast.

I watch the news on TV because it is a way to quickly be informed of things going on around me in the community and the world. It is a link to the outside past my front door and it can be informational only the negative overshadows the positive more often than not. I know people who do not watch TV news because of the negativity and they do not expose their young children to it.

One last point before I stop ranting. Please get off the gun control issue. Personally I do not think everyone needs or should have a gun and I certainly do not see a need for any citizen to have access to assault type weapons or assault weapon related equipment. I do however think it should be harder to legally obtain a handgun because it is harder to get a drivers license than a gun and a gun permit.

That said, these crimes are committed with mostly illegal or illegally obtained guns, Gun control is not the answer but it is a start. People that are planning on doing things with guns will find a way to get them no matter how strict the gun control laws are, but if just one potential offense can be averted that is progress.

We can't just sit back and do nothing and most definately putting more guns out there like having armed police in the schools, as the NRA has suggested, is in my opinion not a resolution to this issue or a good idea. What will be next, libraries, hospitals, post offices, shopping malls, movie theatres, etc.?

More on Registration

By Steve Gordon

OK, here we go. Local writer, Laurie Mason Schroeder who covers lot of criminal court issues for the Bucks County Courier Times (www.PhillyBurbs.com), has jumped into the ring on the new Megan's Law requirements.

The focus of her article in the Sunday, December 16, 2012 paper in the Local section (Page A3) is on juvenile or teen sex offenders. It uses the word "consequences" which by my definition in this means punishment, and the appellate courts have consistently said that ML is not punishment when application of such has been challenged.

Aside from the things I wrote about in an earlier post last week entitled "Registration" it now appears the laws have really overstepped their boundaries. Schroeder wrote, "SORNA is a portion of the Adam Walsh Child Protection Act, which was signed into law in 2006. The federal act goes a step beyond Megan's Law, imposing longer and stricter registration requirements on sex offenders of all ages."

SORNA is the Sex Offenders Registration and Notification Act and in her article Schroeder leads off with saying that there will be "long-lasting, potentially public consequences." This is where I take the inference that this is punishment. The consequences go into almost branding a person where applying for work, admission to a school/college or applying for work related licenses punish a person not giving them an equal opportunity.

The article clearly bears out or confirms my feelings on this issue in a few very succinct words saying, "...juvenile advocates fear that the new law might mark a teen for life." I also believe that the new law unfairly brands all sex offenders and goes beyond consequences into punishment.

The new law increased the amount of information that the public has access to. I don't understand how this is a productive element. It is fact that a majority of child sex abuse cases involve individuals the child knows AND many are first time offenders. Thus my question is how does more information available to the public prevent anything?

I was able to get an entry level part-time job after talking with the open minded owner of a local business. He was not so much concerned about what I had done and served time in state prison for but if it would be a problem in the work place. When I assured him that my past would not be a problem in the work place he too me for my word and gave me a job. It has not been an issue and I have made myself an asset to the workplace and I have a very good working relationship with the other employees who do not know  (nor is it important that they know) my history.

However anyone can look up my name or search the sex offender registry online and find me and potentially and maliciously make public that this business has a registered sex offender working there. First, why is this anyone elses business? Second, how or why is that pertinent information? I have proven myself to be responsible and trusted. And not to beat a dead horse, buy my offense was a specific domestic offense with my than wife in our home. How am I a danger to the community or to society?

Briefly on the public information, there have been cases around the country where people have sought out people listed on ML registrations and perpetrated violence upon them and or their families.

I fully understand a person with a history of a sex offense cannot work in certain places like in health care with elderly people or in schools for example. There are laws on those things. But I know from personal experience that you can't even get an interview to get a job riding around on the back of a trash truck if you have a felony (and sex offenses are felonys).

Unfortunately the bottom line is that if anyone, former offender or not, is going to commit a sex offense on a child (or an adult) what is going to stop them? Sure, parents can be careful who they leave watching their children when they are not around knowing someone has a history, but with many of these offenders being first time offenders how is this helpful? Also consider that only a small minority reoffend.

So when you least expect it good old Uncle __________ (fill in the blank) or your friendly neighbor next door or across the street might actually might be more or a risk than a name of someone you saw online.

OK, we keep an eye on those who might reoffend and it might prevent a life changing event to happen to a child, but again I present that if someone is intent on committing an act (of any kind) that person will likely carry out his or her intent. In prison they drill into you in group programs that if you think it you will do it. The idea is to keep you from thinking it. How does Megan's Law do this?

Lawyer Robert Mancini who was quoted in the article commented that he doubts the new law will be a deterrent in reference to the consequences on juveniles. I present that same question in regard to all but SVP (Sexually Violent Predators) offenders.

You can reach Laurie at email: lmason@phillyBurbs.com

The question

By Steve Gordon

Can you name 50 things you like about yourself? Can you name 100? This is a positive assessment you can make of yourself. It sounds like a lot but try it and see what happens. Without being too repetitive maybe don't put a limit on the list and just write. See how long you can make it?

This was an exercise in a group I was in while in prison. Some guys figured out some things they had not thought about in regard to themselves. Of course some guys wrote down what they thought were positives but actually were negatives because of their thinking. Those guys were a minimum and that is all I will say about them.

While we are making this assessment of ourselves let me diverse just a little and ask you to fill in the blanks on the following 15 items: (Make a complete sentences to express your real feelings.)

1. I like_____________________
2. The happiest time___________
3. I want to know______________
4. Back home_________________
5. I regret____________________
6. At bedtime_________________
7. Men_______________________
8. The best____________________
9. What annoys me_____________
10. People_____________________
11. A mother___________________
12. I feel_______________________
13. My greatest fear______________
14. In school____________________
15. I can't______________________

Still with me?

Now here is the question:

Who are you?

Once you figure this out there should be no reason you can't live a happy successful life.

Here is my closing statement. On my list of things I like about myself at the last minute I erased number 50 on the form we were given and wrote the following"

"I like that I am a perfectly imperfect human being."

Prison Health Care

I found this cartoon and had to put it up here. How many can relate to this?

 

A friend told me a little story the other day I would like to add here.

 

In the beginning God created red, green and yellow vegetables and dairy products so man would be able to eat healthy and live a long productive life. Satan created Dairy Queen and asked if he wanted hot fudge with it. Men and women said yes and they gained 10 pounds.

 

God created yogurt and Satan brought forth white flour from wheat and sugar from cane and women went from size 2 to 14.

 

God presented the potato that is naturally low in fat and full of potassium and good nutrition and Satan peeled off the skin, sliced it and fried it in animal fats and cholesterol levels went up.

 

God gave man lean beef and Satan created McDonald's and Super Sized it and people began to have cardiac arrest.

 

God created quadruple by-pass surgery and Satan chuckled and created Obamacare.

 

 

 

 

OK, that's it. Got my political dig in for the day. You all have a great day.

 

Steve Gordon

Registration

By Steve Gordon

Here is the latest draconian legislation in Pennsylvania that on the surface people say protects society, but in reality it is basically worthless and lip service to a headline driven paranoid population. Governor Tom Corbett signed into law significant changes to the sexual offender registration law. Act 111 of 2011 and Act 91 of 2012 incorporate federally mandated changes that go into effect on December 20, 2012.

Basically registration is quarterly now instead of every six months. I am not sure how this changed, but I thought I was on a 10 year registration but apparently I have Lifetime registration. I am not sure how this will change should my petition for a Pardon be signed in a couple years. However given the nature of things I am not positive on that happening even as I have successfully transitioned and I am by the accounts of my neighbors, a good neighbor.

Anyway, the letter I got from the PA State Police reads:

You will be required to verify your current, existing information and to provide the following additional items or information during the registration process:

• Palm prints
• DNA Sample
• Passport Number, Immigration ID and Immigration Status
• Internet Identifiers (such as email address(es)).
• Vehicles owned or operated, including locations parked or stored.
• Boats and aircraft owned or operated, including locations parked and stored.
• Professional License information (such as real estate license, Barber's license, etc.).

This flies in the face of reality that most all studies done, and the ACLU can verify this, have shown that registration does not protect or prevent sexual offenses. Megan's Law was originally intended to protect children from sexual abuse and nearly all studies on this account show that the majority of these offenses are committed by family members or persons the children know, not the guy who is out of prison and lives down the street or on the next block.

Further, many of those under Megan's Law registration are 1. first time offenders; and 2. did not have offenses regarding minor children.

Justice Department statistics I have seen in the past have shown clearly, and by a wide margin, that the majority of sexual offenders are first time offenders. This makes the whole concept of Megan's Law a law on paper that has no teeth except for government to control and potential harassment of former sexual offenders not deemed to be Sexually Violent Predators.

If a person is found to be a SVP then that person needs to be monitored. To exercise the amount of control and hold information on those not deemed to be a danger in this regard is infringement upon personal liberties. If I had the financial resources and a good lawyer willing to take up the fight I would be doing this. Unfortunately I do not. It is an unpopular subject that many lawyers will not tackle because of public perception even if they feel it is unjust.

To take it a little further, there are sex offenders with offenses that were not involving children such as domestic offenses or consentual relationships for example and these offenders pose no danger or threat to the general public or children.

It is a sticky subject because sexual offenses are not acceptable, but the point is that not all sexual offenders need to be watched and monitored as closely as these new legislation's allow. People are against the Patriot Act as too much Big Brother and there are fine lines within it. There should be fine lines in the sex offender registration laws as well.

Prison Reform

By Steve Gordon

The Forum For Understanding Prisons out of Wisconsin is working towards prison reform. The current issue is keeping older prisoners incarcerated. With nationwide prison overcrowding this makes even more sense now than ever before. It isn't a new proposal, just one that has fallen on deaf ears in government and corrections in the past and it is being revisited.

I was 63-years-old when I was released from prison after serving 10 years. I had family and friends for support, a place to go to live, a car to drive, some money in a savings account, and I was generally in good health in spite of the minimal health care in prison. I don't think that is the norm. Unfortunately I do not have a stack of statistics or results of studies to justify that keeping older prisoners is costly, and for the most part unproductive, but I think that FFUP is targeting a just cause.

It actually is common sense if you think about it.

1. Financial - It costs more for medical care for older prisoners.
2. General Living Conditions - Older prisoners sometimes require special circumstances such as lower bunk status or even single cell status.
3. Safety - The recidivism rate, or the likely hood of older prisoners committing more crimes is minimal if only from a physical aspect let alone from a more mature attitude toward respecting the laws and the rights of other citizens.

It doesn't take much to figure out that older prisoners are likely to have more ailments and will require more medications. There are also visits to outside specialists and medical facilities for care that prison medical facilities are not equipped to deal and which increases the costs of care. Even without the above there is just more time required by prison medical staff for treatments and general wellness care for older prisoners and none of this takes dental care into consideration.

Prison isn't suppose to be comfortable, but prison conditions in general are not conducive for a comfortable/humane environment for many older prisoners who will develop arthritis and other ailments related to aging. Cold damp cells accelerate and aggravate these things. Stress doesn't help either. Further, hard metal bunks (with a thin mattress) as well as hard wood or metal seats/stools with no back support just aren't appropriate for older prisoners who develop lower back problems.

While all meals are (minimally) sufficient nutritionally, older prisoners dietary needs are different than younger men and women. All prisons do have measures to address this but I would suggest that it is different from prison to prison based on the physical capabilities of each facility.

Any vitamin supplements an older prisoner would take he would be required to purchase with his own money. That would be money earned from a prison job or sent in from family or friends outside, if he has those people. The sidebar to that is older prisoners lose family and such and at some point there may not be anyone outside. Aside from the financial aspect, it lessens his or her options for where they would go to restart their lives.

The safety to society and the community however is the bottom line. Without question there are older prisoners who do not deserve or belong outside of prison. But there are many studies that show the rate of recidivism for older prisoners is minimal at best, one of the lowest percentages actually. Just the other day I was listening to the music of Les Miserables and wondering if many of us (older ex-offenders) have a little Jean Valjean within us?

I just feel I need to highlight some issues and you can draw your own conclusions. Below are some comments made by the FFUP on its Facebook page:

"FFUP is consulting with legislators, 2 law schools, several judges to put together a bill that give a viable path for release for the 1600 prisoners over the age of 55 who have been eligible for parole for many years and are stuck in limbo. This bill will help solve a growing national crisis inside our prisons caused by our nation's refusal to acknowledge that people do change and many deserve a second chance. Elderly prisoners are 3 times more expensive to house that younger prisoners, have a 2 percent recidivism rate. Prisons are not set up to house them humanely. With robust screening and placement and then a hearing before sentencing judge, our bill begins to address this problem : see
Elderly Release Bill- A work in progress"

I would also like to include excerpts a couple comments on the above post:

"You can scream and yell all you want but getting some to listen, someone who might have the capacity to initiate change...positive change...then having it acted on is the barrier. Like government, corrections moves at a snails pace."

"Only those that dare to see the "invisible" can do the "Impossible."

"GOD has created us to make a mark, to make a positive difference for the time we have here. 11 years ago, my severally mentally ill brother was an accessory to a Crime (was mentally ill at age 14) where he was a Victim himself. To the publics' eye, he should be put away and not receive the medical treatment he needs to receive healing mentally, physically, as well as spiritually. He is ONE OF MANY that I speak for of the injustices that take place every day in our current PRISON System. Sadly, many do not know how or want to get personally involved. America makes up a mere 3-5 percent of the worlds population, yet approx. 25 percent of our men and women are in some sort of Prison and/or jail. Who will stand up and speak for those that have no voice? Who will be the voice? A stranger on a plane reminded me recently, that IF it was easy, "everyone would be doing it." That it takes a brave strong individual to begin to make change. With God's help may I be that change.
"Speak up for those that can not speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute."
Proverbs 31:8"

"This work can be rather hard on the heart and soul of good people. Rarely do you get someone who can look the truth in the face and keep on fighting. The truth is horrific, but the public wants to think differently, to keep the "tough on crime" mentality alive.
Fear is a huge "obstacle" for many good hearted people."
 
To read more about the FFUP on this and other issues go to these links:

https://www.facebook.com/mrs.efleming/posts/4895756638976?comment_id=5383368&ref=notif&notif_t=like#!/prisonforum?fref=ts

http://forumforunderstandingprisons.net/

Response to Angela Lewis

The following is my response to Angela Lewis concerning her efforts for reducing the prison population with programs for non-violent offenders. It was off the cuff and not meant to be negative towards her work, just my personal feelings. She is trying to accomplish what so many have talked about for too many years but have not acted on. She is to be commended. Here is what I wrote to her:

 

I like the concept of treatment vs prison but having been through the system and living with the people you are talking about I personally don’t see it as positive as you present. There are violent offenders in prison who would be less dangerous in the community than some drug offenders. There has to be some classification of the violent offenders and the offenses considered violent offenses. But everything has to be tried and I get that.

It will no doubt reduce the prison population but if the halfway houses are not used properly and as they were intended to be used (as has been the case in Pennsylvania) how is this going to work? There has to be consequences of some sort and with drug offenders there just doesn’t seem to be. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard drug offenders in both county and state prison say the first thing they were going to do when they got out was _____________. You fill in the blank and it won’t take a lot of imagination to get it.

People in prison take the drug programs because they are told they have to or they won’t get parole consideration. Then the parole process is so subjective there is no guarantee. How is that productive? Sure, some will learn and take the programs to heart but does anyone know the real success rate? They are already in prison. Put someone in a halfway house and tell them to take drug program and the outcomes will be either release from the halfway house on completion and evaluation OR go to prison. There is a consequence – prison. You cannot take that away.

As you haven’t been where I have, I have not been in your shoes. I know the definition of addiction but to be honest, I don’t know what being an addict is. I don’t understand it – the part of not being able to stop destructive behavior. When I was first out of the Navy I drank a little but it wasn’t that I had to or felt a need to do it. It wasn’t on a daily basis, mostly only over indulging socially.

Two things happened. One time friends had to drive me home and take me up to our third floor apartment for my wife. Pathetic. The second was that I just decided I didn’t like the way it made me feel. End result is that I just said I am not going to do it and I never got that way again. Today I might have a couple beers or a glass or two of wine in certain situations but no hard liquor. I just don’t want it.

In prison in casual conversation guys who had alcohol or drug offenses would talk about what they did and blame it on the drugs or alcohol and I just didn’t get it. It sounded loud and clear like justification or an excuse for not taking personal responsibility. We had a guy who was in on a double homicide arson for setting a building on fire when he was drunk because someone owed him money. He got two life sentences reduced to 20-40 years (I think on a technicality of some kind) and then got out on parole. Never did I ever hear him take responsibility and it was all because he was drunk. That really bothered me. He didn’t do any programs while in prison and he got out of prison before his maximum sentence. He was a really smart guy and spent lots of time in our Law Library reading about the law.

Anyway, I just don’t understand and have never felt the pull of an addiction. I only know way too many people I had contact with in prison for drug and alcohol offenses talked about going right back to the same lifestyle. My point about violent offenses is that some people, myself included, had violent offenses and did some bad things but many, like myself, were not a danger to ever do those things again and thus they were not a danger to society or the community.

What you and Peg and others are doing is great. Too much money goes to the prison systems and this country imprisons more people than any other country and your state (Wisconsin) and mine (Pennsylvania) are two of the worst. I remember an older statistic of PA, Texas and Wisconsin having the highest rate of the length of time prisoners were kept in prison.

A secondary issue is getting people jobs so they have a life and a purpose. Idle time is useless and dangerous. Unfortunately I don’t think the recent election results were wrong for that issue, but that is just my political view. Unions need to go and people need to adopt attitudes that the government is not responsible for handouts. People need to get off their ass and take control and responsibility. People need to accept they might have to work for minimum wage. Look at all those people now out of work from Hostess. They weren’t willing to work for lower wages and now they aren’t working at all.

Just keep pushing forward for positive change. We need to spend the money going to corrections on education and as you say, programs for addictions that are far less costly than incarceration. It would help is society would change its attitude and accept that people make mistakes and they deserve (in most cases) a second chance.

 

And that is all I have to say about that.

 

Steve Gordon

Cleansing

By Steve Gordon

I don't know why it took so long, but I have been keeping two file boxes full of court related papers and numerous legal actions I filed while in prison. I was released from prison in May 2010 after 10 years and for a reason I cannot come up with I have kept all these papers in numerous file folders.

Among them was a four inch thick file with all my parole papers from my four parole denials and my challenges and letters. I ventured to read some of them and they sound just as lame today as they did before.

One humorous thing I came across was a cartoon with a prisoner talking with his attorney and the prisoner saying, "I can't get paroled. I will lose my health coverage." How appropriate is that today with the political world tied up in knots and Obamacare that seemingly most of the population of our country does not want and many of our legislators who don't even understand it?

I cannot explain the feeling of letting go of this part of my past. I put on some CD's of movie soundtracks and the one that hit me the most was the theme from "The Last of the Mohicans" called "Top of the World." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Papcv0A6vn0  Take some time to sit back and listen to it. Loud is good to let it flow through you.

Anyway, I am half way through the cleansing and there is no hesitation to what I might keep or not. It is all going. All the petitions, court rulings, court transcripts, letters to lawyers, etc. All of it.

Just thought I would share that.

Searching

Message from Steve Gordon

I haven't made many new entries as I have moved on with my life, but I have written about most of the things I have faced with my reentry. I would say at this point my reentry is successful and I have put the 10 years in prison behind.

My relationship with my son is going very well and I absolutely would give my life to protect my granddaughter who will be 2 on 12-10-12.

For those who have been on the blog or those new to the blog I want to suggest reading or rereading the very first post I made called "Reentry is no Picnic." It is down on the list of posts so it could easily be missed. I think this spells out a lot of things, especially for those recently released. It is something I believe that is timeless.

Thanks.

In closing this post I want to say that I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving Day and that the rest of the holiday season is enjoyed with positive experiences with family and friends. Don't do anything that will send you back to a place where you don't want to be. Take control of your life, don't let life control you.

Be Your Own Big Brother

By Steve Gordon

First, Happy Thanksgiving to anyone reading this and also to your family wherever you are.

As I stood at work yesterday at a Chick-fil-A store doing the daily routine of preparing hundreds of pounds of chicken breasts for the day I had a recurring thought of how we should handle ourselves in life. It isn't a foreign train of thought for me, and I suspect for many people.

I saw the movie "Flight" last week and it was an extraordinary movie. Denzel Washington was as good as he has ever been which is a high standard if you are familiar with his acting. What hit me most (it no doubt was intended to hit all viewers) was the question at the end of the movie. I won't write it so I don't ruin it for anyone who is reading this and has not seen the movie yet. Obviously it started the gears turning in my head.

We live in an age where the political climate seems to be pushing more government upon the people which in a sense is a big brother is watching thing. A lot of people are against this but what I want to write about goes beyond that into personal behavior.

A loose analogy might be if you see someone speeding to a point where a traffic summons would be warranted but there are no police around. Sound familiar? I am sure we have all been there. We say to ourselves, or out loud if there is someone with us, "Where are the cops when you need them?"

We all speed at some point. Admit it. The point here is that you think that if that were you the siren and flashing lights would be in your rear view. A sense of fairness overwhelms you. But wait...you want big brother watching, but not watching you?

OK, this isn't about your driving habits, this is about personal behavior and your perception of it. Who is responsible for what you do and how you act?

Here is a personal theory that might not be popular with some. When I was in prison and acting as a peer facilitator of groups called "Citizenship" and "Character Development" many inmates would complain about how the Correction Officers treated them or they got caught doing this or that and it wasn't fair.

Do I have to comment on what is wrong with that train of thought?

For certain there are strict rules in prison that the CO's are there to enforce. Not all enforce them to the letter but don't we all do that in our daily lives with things? So how do you deal with that?

I like the word proactive and I like to think that I carry myself according to that concept more often than not. It makes me in control of my life as much as possible rather than giving up control to someone else. What I would say in group sessions to other inmates was that they had to think like the CO's.

Some would catch on and some faces would be wrinkled with question or confusion. It was like they were thinking, "We are inmates, why should we think like the CO's?"

We would talk about it and it is a very simple concept when you boil it down. If certain CO's have their idiosyncrasies you learn them, understand where they are coming from and conform to them. It is basic survival in a way. Yes, you are still under their control, but you limit that control by taking away at least part of their game. Most of the population does not live in prison but why can't that basic concept still hold water in our daily lives, in our society, and in our communities?

But there is a secondary part to it. If you behave in a manner that conforms (for lack of a better word) and it makes your life better and has a positive affect on the people around you, then aren't you the better person for that? So referring back to my analogy, if you are afraid of getting caught speeding then shouldn't you drive your vehicle as if there were a patrol car following you?

Now put the concept into your daily life. Pick someone you respect, alive or dead. A family member, a close friend, a celebrity you admire, a sports figure, someone from history, etc. Can you imagine doing that? Can you imagine that simple image of the person you admire smiling or frowning at what you do and how you behave?

On occasions when I have been out playing golf by myself in the off season (but even sometimes with playing partners) I hit a shot and wonder what Arnold Palmer or Jack Nicklaus would say about that. But it works in life. I have found on occasions I have envisioned the only grandfather I knew, who passed away when I was 15, watching me and wanting to put a smile on his face.

It is definitely a big brother is watching thing except on a personal level where you are in control. Whatever consequences that come about in your life from your actions you have to look within yourself, don't pass the buck to someone or something else. None of us are perfect and we will make mistakes, but we have to take personal responsibility for them. Maybe you should put a big brother in your life.

Call it taking personal responsibility and being proactive with your life. I am going to be 66 in a couple days and I'd like my family to be able to say I was a good man when my time expires. Don't you aspire for the same?

Friendly visit follow up

By Steve Gordon

As my friend wrote me in an email, I guess you have a new friend. I responded that I am not sure I have friends in the police department, but maybe.

To back track, I thanked the detective for his courteous visit via email and he responded that he sent a letter to the Pennsylvania State Police (PSP) confirming that I was living at my listed address, etc. Then two days later he wrote back that they reported that I had not re registered and to make a long story short as I informed him I had copies, he suggested I go to the PSP and re register.

I did that and guess what they found in a file cabinet? A hard copy of my visit to re register for ML. However, the officer that took it 1) dated it March 27 when it should have been May; and 2) he never forwarded it to Harrisburg which means technically I didn't re register.

The officer on duty when I went up said if they questioned it I had the copies to show. He is right, but if the sheriffs department or local police came to arrest me with a warrant that I had not re registered, do you think they would look at my evidence or follow their orders which were to arrest me and then they would sort out the reality of it later? I am thinking probably not.

All is well that ends well. They printed a new copy of my paperwork, dated it current and I signed it and got a copy and was on my way.

A friendly visit

By Steve Gordon

While at the dinner table the other night we notices a van pull up in front of the house and a man with a brief case get out and come up the drive. I got up to meet him at the door.

He was a detective from the local police department checking up on me to see if I was still living there and if everything was ok. He stressed that there had been no complaints. Curious that no one had ever done that before?

Mom was glad it was a normal looking unmarked van because the neighbors would be asking what it was about. I say to hell with the neighbors and what people think, etc. The ones that count know I was in prison. The ones that don't know fall under the need to know mentality.

It was a courteous visit but I did not ask him in because we were in the middle of supper.

The next day I emailed him to thank him for the courteous visit and he responded that he filed a letter to the PA State Police that everything was fine and that the department has had no contact with me (meaning official contact as for criminal activity).

I guess he was doing his job, but given the circumstances of my offense and that no one has ever checked or visited here it was curious. I have been expected a visit from the local parole officer who is supposed to do a visit and interview inregard to my application for a Pardon.

Happy to report positive things here.

On another note, the letter to the Bucks County DOC offering my time to help in any way with a program to help prisoners prepare for reentry has gone unresponded to. Not even a thanks but no thanks. Closed mindedness still exists I guess.

Her Letter from Prison

This came to me via email and I decided to share it. I have no affiliation with Heather or her book but it sounds like good reading.
Steve Gordon

Please consider introducing Heather’s story, a series of ebooks entitled “Her Letters from Prison”, to your re-entry readers.

Heather Heaton's new ebook series ("Her Letters from Prison") is an inspirational resource for reading pleasure, review, contemplation, and discussion.

Heather's own testimony:  "God changed my life in prison!"

"Her Letters from Prison" (Parts 1 & 2) will validate your inquisitive thoughts and doubts about what goes on in women’s prisons (It is what it is!); and it can justify the efforts spent toward women’s prison ministries.  These two ebooks can be a motivational (tell-it-like-it-is) resource for drug rehab/prevention and reentry programs, especially when combined with "Her Letters from Prison – Part 4:  Recycled – Second Time Around".

"Her Letters from Prison" is a non-fiction, inspirational, romance ebook series; with Heather's original letters (with prison art) included as images for authenticity.  Heather's story describes how female offenders are perceived and handled (often abused) in the criminal justice system.  The story continues (Part 4) to describe Heather's first two years of re-entry back into the real world and how she ended a destructive narcissistic-codependent relationship.

"Her Letters from Prison:  Women-in-Prison" (Part 3) contains two PowerPoint presentations prepared for the University of Alabama/Women's Studies "Women in Prison" conference.  Both presentations are based on Parts 1 & 2 of Heather's story; and they are entitled "Women-in-Prison (Almost Invisible)" and "Women-in-Prison (Facts/Myths)".  Also, Heather's personal testimony is included in the Part 3 publication.

You can go to http://www.heather-heaton.com, and click on a direct link to Heather's Amazon.com and/or Smashwords "book pages" for “Her Letters from Prison”.  Alternatively, you can visit Heather’s author pages:

1. http://www.amazon.com/author/heatherheaton
2. https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/heatherdh

Heather’s ebooks are also available in paperback format.  The paperback book ("Her Letters from Prison") may be obtained by contacting Heather through her website "contact" form.  The paperback book contains Part 1, 2, and 3 ebooks.  "Her Letters from Prison - Part 4" will be published as its own paperback book soon.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Heather Heaton

Letter (see Neglected post)

                                                                                          July 8, 2012

To Whom It May Concern:

A month or so ago I read in the local newspaper an article on a program for reintegration aimed at reentry into society for prisoners upon their release. What a relief to read that something is being done in that regard, if only on a local level.

From my experience, regardless of what the common belief is or what officials say is being done on a state level, this is an area that needs attention. My story briefly is that I spent 8 months in BCCC before serving the remainder of my 10 year maximum sentence at SCI-Cresson. I was released in May 2010.

During that time whatever assets I had and whatever life I had with work and family were lost. A divorce in 2003 relieved me of basically all material things and in the process I gave away a relationship with my son (that today is on the mend) and of course employment potential.

Today, if not for my elderly parents (ages 88 and 91), I might be living in a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere. I am fortunate to have VA Medical care available from my service in the US Navy during Vietnam and the Cold War in the nuclear submarine service. I live with my parents and take care of the house and help them as I can.

Individually I have established credit scores in the mid 700’s and purchased a vehicle getting an auto loan on my own merit. I have a part time job at a Chick-fil-A but it took me a year to get that and I feel fortunate to have it. I was also featured in an article by Jane Von Berg in the Philadelphia Inquirer in March 2011 in regard to employment for ex-offenders. I collect my Social Security and I have been able to rejuvenate my golf game for recreation as well as friendship with former golf buddies.

What I am getting at is that I have been through the process of reintegration and I have that personal experience to potentially help with your program and I would like to offer some of my time to the program. I am not concerned if there is compensation or not but if there is it surely would be appreciated.

Thank you and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Steven R. Gordon

Neglected

By Steve Gordon

I know, I have neglected this blog. I haven't written anything new for a while. I have gotten caught up in summer and working outside and playing golf and it just got pushed to the back burner. I was writing to a couple friends I left behind in prison, but both are out on parole and not allowed to have contact with me. Not me personally, me as an ex-offender.

Here is the backwards thinking logic in that. I understand trying to keep certain people away from a kind of influence that could be detrimental, but on the other side there is a logic of trying to get people out to hook up with people who have been out and who have been successful and could help the newly released inmate.

I read in the local paper a month or so ago about a program to get prisoners prepared for their reentry into society upon their release. What a great program. What a great concept. Get away from the lock um up mentality and actually do something to  help people.

Just before I was released in 2010 I wrote to the warden of my county prison here in Bucks County, Pennsylvania and told him my situation and offered myself up to help in any way he saw fit to help guys in prison realize this was not a path to follow. Believe it or not, young guys who get in trouble and get small sentences to local prisons actually think it is a badge of honor or sorts. For sure it is not that as they will find out the hard way unless someone can show them before it accelerates into more serious things and a lifestyle of life in prison.

Anyway, I didn't get even a reply to my letter. I don't understand how people who have been there and can help people from going there are outcasts from the process. I wanted to write another letter about the reentry program but I never got around to it. In the back of my mind was the idea that the draconian thinking still would prevail and if I got a reply it might be thanks, but no thanks.

However that kind of thinking on my part just continues the problem. I am going to write that letter and again offer some of my time. I will keep you posted.

Last week I had the opportunity to sit and talk with my best friends wife whom I had not seen since the 90's before my offense. In brief, she was flabbergasted that there is little reentry preparation for prisoners for their release. That they basically just open the gate, wish you good luck and slam the gate shut behind you.

I know personally of people who went out and committed a crime so they would go back to prison because that is the only life they know and living outside is a scary thing. A very scary thing. The world today moves at a fast pace and technology advances daily. Now not everybody needs all the technology that is out here, but some of it is pretty much a necessity and it starts with knowing how to use the Internet and a computer.

Often I wonder how my friends are doing. I am not too worried about one of them, but the other I have some concerns about. Not from the point that he will get in trouble again, I don't think that is the case, it would be from his having the support and dealing with the restritctions placed on him by his probation. I have a phobe bumber but I can't call it because if he gets put on a random lie detector test and asked if he has had contact with an ex-offender he would have to answer yes.  Even if he did not inititate it, it could cause him some grief. I can't to that to him, to either of them.

Let me get to finding an address and writing my letter.

Later...

Dinner with the kid

By Steve Gordon

I got to see and hold my wonderful 15-month-old granddaughter Wednesday at my son Jim's home. She is starting to walk and words are slowly coming out of her mouth.

Jim has some things he needs to work out with me as we reestablish our relationship and would like me to help him with some projects outside around his house. As a new family the finances are a tough act trying to keep up with the expenses, or potential expenses. We can do some of his projects but some might be more than I can handle.

The bottom line is what has to be worked out is to prioritize what he and his wife want done and then tackle them one at a time. It will be a work in progress done in stages. We joked about winning the big lottery, but at that point you don't fix up an small older place, you move to a newer one that has the room a new family will be needing.

But this isn't so much about winning big in the lottery or home improvement projects as it is a bonding process where I can earn his trust and a place as part of his family, as his dad. Projects are easier when they are at your own place because you can work on your timetable, even as little as an hour here or an hour there. When you are doing it at someone elses house you are on their schedule, and Jim and his wife Chrissy have a whirlwind life centered around Casey (the baby) and family. His wife comes from a big family.

It has been a long time since I raised Jim as a baby but being a grandparent gives a different perspective to the process. How can you look into those young innocent eyes and be stern when this little girl does something she shouldn't have. You know, the game of dropping something on the floor from the high chair (on purpose) and babbling "Uh Oh" with an innocent expression.

We had a nice dinner and the small kitchen area makes cleanup more difficult than it might normally be. But things got cleaned up and time to get baby ready for bed. One problem, baby wasn't ready to go to bed. But eventually the eyes drooped and she laid down on the floor and went to sleep.

I wanted to talk to them just a short while to say a few things I felt ought to be said to both Jim and Chrissy. I started with the obvious that my actions messed up a lot of peoples lives and said I was sorry for that. To this I added that I was proud to be a father, father-in-law and grandfather and said I wanted to earn my way to be part of their family telling them I loved them. Hopefully some day they can feel proud to be a son, daughter-in-law and of course granddaughter of me. It isn't a biological right.

That was the basis and if flowed from there as I got into a couple of specific things I felt needed to be put on the table. We got off topic throughout as things came up and back on topic and it was nearly midnight and all three of us had to get up for work the next morning. Even if they didn't have to be up, I am sure Casey would have them up.

Oh, I also got to show off my new pick-up to them. Now we progress onward in a positive manner and all parties know that open communications both ways is the key and it needs to be practiced everyday.

Again with the ML car registration

By Steve Gordon

If you have read through the blog you would be aware of the Megan's Law registration ordeal. Well...it isn't so much an ordeal as walking on coals, but it is unpleasant. You would also be aware my requirement to register is based on a domestic offense and not some random act on the street with a stranger, or worse, a minor.

Enough of the reiteration.

I purchased a new vehicle last Saturday. My 1996 Blazer has seen better days. Even though the engine was new and only had about 6,000 miles on it and it had a new computer module and some other stuff including two new tires, I drew the line at a couple thousand more dollars for a transmission. It was a $25,000 car brand new but it has outlived its usefulness to me and my family.

Here is a brief history. My son picked it out on the lot when we were just looking around. My old Blazer was getting tired. I drove it, the now ex-wife agreed to get it and we did. My son Jim learned how to drive in it. When I went to prison in 2000 Jim took control of it (his mother had her own vehicle). My family and I wanted to have it sold for money to pay a real lawyer vs. having a public pretender. The ex-wife got involved and that wasn't going to happen.

My brother Jay, who died in July 2011 of cancer at age 54, took the car and basically hid it to protect it. We still wanted to sell it while it had value but smaller minds had other plans. It wasn't until 2003 when the ex-wife got her personal injury trial and the Blazer was at the heart of discussion to drop the suit even as I agreed to give her basically everything. So she had her trial and got a $500,000 judgment against me when I was in prison and I am speculating it cost her over $100,000 to get it with lawyer fees and his percentage of the judgment.

Bottom line is there was nothing to win. Our estate together wasn't worth $500,000. The Masters Hearing for the divorce was two days after the trial. We went in and as I had offered before, she could have basically everything except for a list of personal things and the Blazer. The Master listened and Pat objected. When I pointed out she already had two cars to which Pat meekly answered yes the Master said she didn't think she needed three cars.

In a round about way the Blazer became a $500,000 vehicle. Here is what it was about. It was a personal thing for me but it was also keeping something of value. As it turned out it became very useful. I signed it over to my brother to use and in 2010 before I came home he and my father made the decision to put a new engine in it.

You can second guess that, but fact is having my own vehicle was a good thing. I did not have to rely on anyone for a car to get around and thus I had some freedom to come and go as I wanted and as necessary. I paid for the upkeep, gas and insurance and paved the road to having responsibility after 10 years away from society.

Guess I kind of got off topic, but maybe a little history made a good story.

Back to the where we started with the Blazer, its days were numbered. It was time to let go and move on and make an investment in a newer more reliable vehicle. That is where the 2005 Dodge Dakota club cab enters the story. I had established a credit rating once out by getting a couple credit cards and using them and then paying them off on time. By doing so I was eligible to get a car loan and purchase the pick-up on my own. I stress ON MY OWN.

Going back to the reason for this story I had to notify the PA State Police and...as usual the treatment was on the fringe of courteous and it took 45 minutes for them to do five minutes worth of paperwork all the while with me parked on a hard wooden bench in a lobby in front of a huge glass window. While there another guy came in and said last time he was there to update his registration it took three hours.

I understand the need to keep records, but it nothing changes what is the purpose to have people show up in person for each change when such a thing can be handled easily via mail or Internet? Oh, I know, they need to practice with their little digital camera. But it is done. Hopefully WHEN my Pardon is signed this will all be a thing of the past.



One final note: The pictures above are of a garden bridge I build last summer. The flags were for the 4th of July. Under it is one of my brother Jay's old trucks from when he was a kid and I dug it up when putting the bridge in. This kind of makes this a piece of real estate to remember my brother. Further, the last thing I remember my brother saying to me was, "At least we got the Blazer running." Today a set of keys for the Blazer rests with the truck under the bridge. I can wait for spring and all the plants around the bridge to grow in.

Reconnecting with my son

By Steve Gordon

A couple weeks ago my son called and asked if I would meet him. Of course I would, and did. We met at a pool hall and shot some pool and talked a little. Seems he can't completely let go of some things that happened over the past 10 or so years while I was in prison and wants to talk about them.

I don't want to reopen those things but I recognize his needs so this is something I can do. Then down the road we can potentially finally put a lot of stuff to rest. During our hour or so shooting pool a few things were said that got me to thinking afterward that I need to learn how to be a dad again.

He said he was hoping, but not expecting, that I would call him and ask him ("invite" is the word he used) to the recent auto show in Philadelphia. The funny thing is that it crossed my mind but I did not do it. In conversation he always talks about how busy they are going here and there and with the one-year old so I (foolishly) opted out of calling him.

Guess I dropped the ball on that. Now where do I go. Because he came out and said he wanted to talk I am feeling that it now falls upon me as the dad to try to arrange how we do this. I will give him a call this weekend and see if we can get this started. I will keep you posted.

While we were shooting pool it was obvious I am not very competent at pool. Jim plays in a pool league and seems to know his way around on the felt. Guess I will have to settle for that and being a better player on the outside greens of a golf course. Balance is good.

Progressing along with the Pardon/Clemency process

I received the following letter today from the Pennsylvania Board of Pardons. Herein are the highlights"

"This letter is to inform you that your clemency application has been filed by the Board of Pardons.

Please be advised that agents from the Pennsylvania Board of Probation and Parole conduct investigations for the Board of Pardons. ...you will be contacted by a Parole Agent to arrange a meeting in your home...

As soon as all pertinent information has been compiled, the application will then be reviewed by each Board member, and a public vote will be taken to determine if you will be granted a public hearing. You will be notified of the results of the Board's review.

Please be advised that the clemency process is very lengthy and complex. It currently takes approximately three (3) years to complete..."

And so the wheels of a government agency slowly begin to grind. It took nearly two months to get to this point, but the fact that the application has been filed is good. At least I got the initial paperwork right. I wonder how many applications don't make muster in this first step? Anyway, I will wait for the next step and so on and so on, looking forward to each one to hopefully come to positive resolution.

The fact is the main purpose for this was employment issues with background checks and even places where I am currently prohibited from working for having a felony conviction. By the time the process is complete and a Pardon is granted I will be 68-years-old. I am not sure how to express my view regarding the initial goal being relevant at that point, but I can tell you that I want this Pardon nonetheless.

I didn't think it would be a three (3) year process and was thinking more like one year. Government agencies I guess don't move at breakneck speed. With my application I provided many attachments to be reviewed and considered. I suspect that most if not all of these will be checked to verify authenticity and gather more information. I welcome that because I have nothing to hide.

Taking it all into consideration, I reiterate that I really want this Pardon. I want the state of Pennsylvania to review my application, look at who I am as a person right now today. Isn't that what this is about? I also want the Board to look at my past lifestyle and recognize that it is not, and never has been, a lifestyle of criminal thinking and intent.

This of course would involve having them believe that the likely hood of my ever acting out again is basically non-existent. I word it that way because is there ever really a "never" for anything in life. I can believe in myself that the actions I took will not happen again but the Board has to evaluate it from the perspective that if it happened once it could happen again. I get that.

I will do the interviews, answer the questions, jump through the hoops, etc. and in three years I want the governor of the state of Pennsylvania to grant this Pardon to me which in effect says I recognize that you are a good person. I am doing and will continue to do all the right things to earn this. This may be melodramatic, but in the end I want my children and grandchildren to be proud of a father and grandfather who does not have the label of ex-offender attached to him in the fine print and in the eyes of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

Keep you posted, but it will probably be a while.

Excessive Sentencing

By Steve Gordon

The following letter to the editor to the Vietnam Veterans of America magazine appeared in the January/February 2012 issue:

"A grassroots movement is underway to dismantle Missouri's 85 percent mandatory minimum sentencing laws on first-time offenders, a law that affects many veterans, is unjust, and is an unnecessary tax burden on Missouri citizens.

There is a petition to get it on the ballot for revision as soon as possible. This petition can be endorsed by anyone of voting age in any state. In no way are we attempting to minimize the acts for which these men and women have been responsible. However, administering nearly a life sentence in first-time non-homicide cases - and even in some cases of non-injury - and to have no incentive for rehabilitation is truly counterproductive to everything out nation stands for.

We have endorsements from a multitude of lawmakers for this change, and the NAACP and Missouri CURE are devoting their resources to revamp this policy. This is not a "get out of jail free card." It is for first-time violent offenders who have completed positive behavioral programs and have remarkable institution records. These men and women were caught up in the "get tough on crime" one-upmanship of political campaign promotions. The proposed change will lower the basic mandatory minimum of 85 percent for first-time offenders to 50 percent mandatory sentencing - based on past and current behavior, personal rehabilitation, and parole board discretion.

Information on the petition can be found on the Missouri CURE website, http://www.mocure.org/. If you wish to contact the CURE concerning this information, call 877-525-2873 or email missouricure@hotmail.com."

George Kniest
Jefferson City, Missouri

Here in Pennsylvania there was a belief when I was in prison only a few years ago that there is an 80 percent rule but the authorities and the Pennsylvania Parole Board deny this. Even in the face of this non-existent rule the feeling went that the Parole Board used its discretion in the matter.

In cases like mine, I completed all the required programs and more, had no misconducts, and had a job, got good work, housing and program reports that resulted in having full institution support for parole five times, and I was denied parole five times. There were other similar cases I knew of while incarcerated.

It would seem the Pennsylvania Parole Board overstepped its use of discretion. Of course there are two side to that story and they can be arugued forever without resolution. As for Missouri, this would be a positive start to prison reform that is sorely needed across the nation even as I have an issue regarding allowing discretion.

Our nations prisons are overcrowded. The prisons in Pennsylvania are so overcrowded the state has taken to housing prisoners in county prisons and also other states at a great expense. From experience I can tell you that there are a great many people in prison, even violent offenders, who do not need to be there.

Don't get me wrong, some people belong in prison. Their behavior has shown them to be a danger to the community so these people need to remain in custody for the safe guard of society as much as for their own safety. As bad as some are, no one should be put at risk of injury or death and the lifestyle these people choose subject them to that.

I only received the VVA magazine today and I haven't had time to look up the statistics, but I do know that past statistics did not have the Keystone State in good standing in regard to the number of people in prison and the time they spend in prison. It is a list of states in statistics that you want to be on the bottom of. Pennsylvania was on the top.

But this is getting off track. The point I want to make is that prison reform is needed and talk about it needs to be acted on. Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett just slashed the budget in regard to money for education for a state in debt. The Philadelphia Public School system is restricting use of the schools to save money. Why can't we reform the prison system, mandatory sentencing, and Parole Board discretion and take the money saved and put it back into education?

My final word is a call for across the board flat sentencing. To the state legislatures I suggest that they act on reform and stop talking about it.

Pardon Me

by Steve Gordon

I have not written on this site for a long time. I have been wrapped up in getting things back together and writing on a golf related blog and working. Yes, I found a job even if it is a minimum wage part-time job doing prep work and related jobs in the kitchen of the Chick-fil-A in Newtown, PA.

But I am not writing about that. I applied for a Pardon last fall. It is as the letter accepting my application described "a lengthy process." I have to state up front that I am not looking for absolution for my offense. What I am looking for is to clear my record for background checks.

This is a big deal for anyone trying to enter the job market these days. Jobs are hard enough to find let alone being labeled as as ex-offender and going against similar or higher qualified people who do not have a criminal record. And here is a new insult. I wanted to sign up to be a volunteer worker at the Merion Golf Club for the 2013 US Open golf tournament but I couldn't because you have to pass a background check.

I recently got a letter from the Board of Pardons for some more detailed information. I filled out the information they asked for and returned the original and five (5) copies as requested. Next step is for the application (and the numerous inclusions I provided) is to be reviewed positively and have a public hearing scheduled. For this all the authorities and victims would be notified and would be given the opportunity to provide their thoughts.

This pardon is a long way from being approved and sent to the governor's desk to be signed. I just wanted to put this out there and urge anyone who does not have a long record of criminal behavior to apply for a Pardon. Worst case scenario is they say no and nothing lost. Best case would be to have the Pardon granted and be given a clean slate to compete in the job market and other things.

Do it.