Dinner with the kid

By Steve Gordon

I got to see and hold my wonderful 15-month-old granddaughter Wednesday at my son Jim's home. She is starting to walk and words are slowly coming out of her mouth.

Jim has some things he needs to work out with me as we reestablish our relationship and would like me to help him with some projects outside around his house. As a new family the finances are a tough act trying to keep up with the expenses, or potential expenses. We can do some of his projects but some might be more than I can handle.

The bottom line is what has to be worked out is to prioritize what he and his wife want done and then tackle them one at a time. It will be a work in progress done in stages. We joked about winning the big lottery, but at that point you don't fix up an small older place, you move to a newer one that has the room a new family will be needing.

But this isn't so much about winning big in the lottery or home improvement projects as it is a bonding process where I can earn his trust and a place as part of his family, as his dad. Projects are easier when they are at your own place because you can work on your timetable, even as little as an hour here or an hour there. When you are doing it at someone elses house you are on their schedule, and Jim and his wife Chrissy have a whirlwind life centered around Casey (the baby) and family. His wife comes from a big family.

It has been a long time since I raised Jim as a baby but being a grandparent gives a different perspective to the process. How can you look into those young innocent eyes and be stern when this little girl does something she shouldn't have. You know, the game of dropping something on the floor from the high chair (on purpose) and babbling "Uh Oh" with an innocent expression.

We had a nice dinner and the small kitchen area makes cleanup more difficult than it might normally be. But things got cleaned up and time to get baby ready for bed. One problem, baby wasn't ready to go to bed. But eventually the eyes drooped and she laid down on the floor and went to sleep.

I wanted to talk to them just a short while to say a few things I felt ought to be said to both Jim and Chrissy. I started with the obvious that my actions messed up a lot of peoples lives and said I was sorry for that. To this I added that I was proud to be a father, father-in-law and grandfather and said I wanted to earn my way to be part of their family telling them I loved them. Hopefully some day they can feel proud to be a son, daughter-in-law and of course granddaughter of me. It isn't a biological right.

That was the basis and if flowed from there as I got into a couple of specific things I felt needed to be put on the table. We got off topic throughout as things came up and back on topic and it was nearly midnight and all three of us had to get up for work the next morning. Even if they didn't have to be up, I am sure Casey would have them up.

Oh, I also got to show off my new pick-up to them. Now we progress onward in a positive manner and all parties know that open communications both ways is the key and it needs to be practiced everyday.