Mission Statement

This is a blog about reentry into society for persons released from prison and the many difficulties and barriers they face. The writings contained in this blog come from personal experience and they are intended to put out information from the real life adventures I have come up against with navigating my reentry into society. The blog welcomes submissions from anyone who is or has gone through reentry after prison as well as from any authorities, organizations, etc. with information that would be help for prisoners with their reentry to society after incarceration.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Response to Angela Lewis


The following is my response to Angela Lewis concerning her efforts for reducing the prison population with programs for non-violent offenders. It was off the cuff and not meant to be negative towards her work, just my personal feelings. She is trying to accomplish what so many have talked about for too many years but have not acted on. She is to be commended. Here is what I wrote to her:
 
I like the concept of treatment vs prison but having been through the system and living with the people you are talking about I personally don’t see it as positive as you present. There are violent offenders in prison who would be less dangerous in the community than some drug offenders. There has to be some classification of the violent offenders and the offenses considered violent offenses. But everything has to be tried and I get that.

It will no doubt reduce the prison population but if the halfway houses are not used properly and as they were intended to be used (as has been the case in Pennsylvania) how is this going to work? There has to be consequences of some sort and with drug offenders there just doesn’t seem to be. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard drug offenders in both county and state prison say the first thing they were going to do when they got out was _____________. You fill in the blank and it won’t take a lot of imagination to get it.

People in prison take the drug programs because they are told they have to or they won’t get parole consideration. Then the parole process is so subjective there is no guarantee. How is that productive? Sure, some will learn and take the programs to heart but does anyone know the real success rate? They are already in prison. Put someone in a halfway house and tell them to take drug program and the outcomes will be either release from the halfway house on completion and evaluation OR go to prison. There is a consequence – prison. You cannot take that away.

As you haven’t been where I have, I have not been in your shoes. I know the definition of addiction but to be honest, I don’t know what being an addict is. I don’t understand it – the part of not being able to stop destructive behavior. When I was first out of the Navy I drank a little but it wasn’t that I had to or felt a need to do it. It wasn’t on a daily basis, mostly only over indulging socially.

Two things happened. One time friends had to drive me home and take me up to our third floor apartment for my wife. Pathetic. The second was that I just decided I didn’t like the way it made me feel. End result is that I just said I am not going to do it and I never got that way again. Today I might have a couple beers or a glass or two of wine in certain situations but no hard liquor. I just don’t want it.

In prison in casual conversation guys who had alcohol or drug offenses would talk about what they did and blame it on the drugs or alcohol and I just didn’t get it. It sounded loud and clear like justification or an excuse for not taking personal responsibility. We had a guy who was in on a double homicide arson for setting a building on fire when he was drunk because someone owed him money. He got two life sentences reduced to 20-40 years (I think on a technicality of some kind) and then got out on parole. Never did I ever hear him take responsibility and it was all because he was drunk. That really bothered me. He didn’t do any programs while in prison and he got out of prison before his maximum sentence. He was a really smart guy and spent lots of time in our Law Library reading about the law.

Anyway, I just don’t understand and have never felt the pull of an addiction. I only know way too many people I had contact with in prison for drug and alcohol offenses talked about going right back to the same lifestyle. My point about violent offenses is that some people, myself included, had violent offenses and did some bad things but many, like myself, were not a danger to ever do those things again and thus they were not a danger to society or the community.

What you and Peg and others are doing is great. Too much money goes to the prison systems and this country imprisons more people than any other country and your state (Wisconsin) and mine (Pennsylvania) are two of the worst. I remember an older statistic of PA, Texas and Wisconsin having the highest rate of the length of time prisoners were kept in prison.

A secondary issue is getting people jobs so they have a life and a purpose. Idle time is useless and dangerous. Unfortunately I don’t think the recent election results were wrong for that issue, but that is just my political view. Unions need to go and people need to adopt attitudes that the government is not responsible for handouts. People need to get off their ass and take control and responsibility. People need to accept they might have to work for minimum wage. Look at all those people now out of work from Hostess. They weren’t willing to work for lower wages and now they aren’t working at all.

Just keep pushing forward for positive change. We need to spend the money going to corrections on education and as you say, programs for addictions that are far less costly than incarceration. It would help is society would change its attitude and accept that people make mistakes and they deserve (in most cases) a second chance.
 
And that is all I have to say about that.
 
Steve Gordon

Cleansing

By Steve Gordon

I don't know why it took so long, but I have been keeping two file boxes full of court related papers and numerous legal actions I filed while in prison. I was released from prison in May 2010 after 10 years and for a reason I cannot come up with I have kept all these papers in numerous file folders.

Among them was a four inch thick file with all my parole papers from my four parole denials and my challenges and letters. I ventured to read some of them and they sound just as lame today as they did before.

One humorous thing I came across was a cartoon with a prisoner talking with his attorney and the prisoner saying, "I can't get paroled. I will lose my health coverage." How appropriate is that today with the political world tied up in knots and Obamacare that seemingly most of the population of our country does not want and many of our legislators who don't even understand it?

I cannot explain the feeling of letting go of this part of my past. I put on some CD's of movie soundtracks and the one that hit me the most was the theme from "The Last of the Mohicans" called "Top of the World." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Papcv0A6vn0  Take some time to sit back and listen to it. Loud is good to let it flow through you.

Anyway, I am half way through the cleansing and there is no hesitation to what I might keep or not. It is all going. All the petitions, court rulings, court transcripts, letters to lawyers, etc. All of it.

Just thought I would share that.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Searching

Message from Steve Gordon

I haven't made many new entries as I have moved on with my life, but I have written about most of the things I have faced with my reentry. I would say at this point my reentry is successful and I have put the 10 years in prison behind.

My relationship with my son is going very well and I absolutely would give my life to protect my granddaughter who will be 2 on 12-10-12.

For those who have been on the blog or those new to the blog I want to suggest reading or rereading the very first post I made called "Reentry is no Picnic." It is down on the list of posts so it could easily be missed. I think this spells out a lot of things, especially for those recently released. It is something I believe that is timeless.

Thanks.

In closing this post I want to say that I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving Day and that the rest of the holiday season is enjoyed with positive experiences with family and friends. Don't do anything that will send you back to a place where you don't want to be. Take control of your life, don't let life control you.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Be Your Own Big Brother

By Steve Gordon

First, Happy Thanksgiving to anyone reading this and also to your family wherever you are.

As I stood at work yesterday at a Chick-fil-A store doing the daily routine of preparing hundreds of pounds of chicken breasts for the day I had a recurring thought of how we should handle ourselves in life. It isn't a foreign train of thought for me, and I suspect for many people.

I saw the movie "Flight" last week and it was an extraordinary movie. Denzel Washington was as good as he has ever been which is a high standard if you are familiar with his acting. What hit me most (it no doubt was intended to hit all viewers) was the question at the end of the movie. I won't write it so I don't ruin it for anyone who is reading this and has not seen the movie yet. Obviously it started the gears turning in my head.

We live in an age where the political climate seems to be pushing more government upon the people which in a sense is a big brother is watching thing. A lot of people are against this but what I want to write about goes beyond that into personal behavior.

A loose analogy might be if you see someone speeding to a point where a traffic summons would be warranted but there are no police around. Sound familiar? I am sure we have all been there. We say to ourselves, or out loud if there is someone with us, "Where are the cops when you need them?"

We all speed at some point. Admit it. The point here is that you think that if that were you the siren and flashing lights would be in your rear view. A sense of fairness overwhelms you. But wait...you want big brother watching, but not watching you?

OK, this isn't about your driving habits, this is about personal behavior and your perception of it. Who is responsible for what you do and how you act?

Here is a personal theory that might not be popular with some. When I was in prison and acting as a peer facilitator of groups called "Citizenship" and "Character Development" many inmates would complain about how the Correction Officers treated them or they got caught doing this or that and it wasn't fair.

Do I have to comment on what is wrong with that train of thought?

For certain there are strict rules in prison that the CO's are there to enforce. Not all enforce them to the letter but don't we all do that in our daily lives with things? So how do you deal with that?

I like the word proactive and I like to think that I carry myself according to that concept more often than not. It makes me in control of my life as much as possible rather than giving up control to someone else. What I would say in group sessions to other inmates was that they had to think like the CO's.

Some would catch on and some faces would be wrinkled with question or confusion. It was like they were thinking, "We are inmates, why should we think like the CO's?"

We would talk about it and it is a very simple concept when you boil it down. If certain CO's have their idiosyncrasies you learn them, understand where they are coming from and conform to them. It is basic survival in a way. Yes, you are still under their control, but you limit that control by taking away at least part of their game. Most of the population does not live in prison but why can't that basic concept still hold water in our daily lives, in our society, and in our communities?

But there is a secondary part to it. If you behave in a manner that conforms (for lack of a better word) and it makes your life better and has a positive affect on the people around you, then aren't you the better person for that? So referring back to my analogy, if you are afraid of getting caught speeding then shouldn't you drive your vehicle as if there were a patrol car following you?

Now put the concept into your daily life. Pick someone you respect, alive or dead. A family member, a close friend, a celebrity you admire, a sports figure, someone from history, etc. Can you imagine doing that? Can you imagine that simple image of the person you admire smiling or frowning at what you do and how you behave?

On occasions when I have been out playing golf by myself in the off season (but even sometimes with playing partners) I hit a shot and wonder what Arnold Palmer or Jack Nicklaus would say about that. But it works in life. I have found on occasions I have envisioned the only grandfather I knew, who passed away when I was 15, watching me and wanting to put a smile on his face.

It is definitely a big brother is watching thing except on a personal level where you are in control. Whatever consequences that come about in your life from your actions you have to look within yourself, don't pass the buck to someone or something else. None of us are perfect and we will make mistakes, but we have to take personal responsibility for them. Maybe you should put a big brother in your life.

Call it taking personal responsibility and being proactive with your life. I am going to be 66 in a couple days and I'd like my family to be able to say I was a good man when my time expires. Don't you aspire for the same?